An Uncomplicated Gentleman

Images found on: Ego is a rat on the sinking ship of being

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Trolley Sign, Sydney – “Regarding Other People’s Groceries”

Found on Casa de Ricardo

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Words From A Man Of Great Imagination

"The human mind delights in grand conceptions of supernatural beings. And the sea is precisely their best vehicle, the only medium through which these giants (against which terrestrial animals, such as elephants or rhinoceroses, are as nothing) can be produced or developed."

From “Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea” by Jules Verne

Text and image found at TurnOfTheCentury

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Good Basic Thinking

Image found at wasbella102

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It’s All A Matter Of Who’s Doing What

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Barkham Burroughs’ Beauty Tips Anno 1889

A lot of things have changed since the 19th century. When Barkham Burroughs wrote his Encyclopaedia of Astounding Facts and Useful Information in 1889, he devoted a full chapter to the "secrets of beauty," and for good reason. To quote Burroughs, "If women are to govern, control, manage, influence and retain the adoration of husbands, fathers, brothers, lovers or even cousins, they must look their prettiest at all times." Here are 11 of his tips for doing just that.

1. BATHE OFTEN(ISH)…

At least once a week, but if possible, a lady should "take a plunge or sponge bath three times a week."

2. … IN A HOUSEHOLD CLEANING SOLUTION.

What’s better than soap? Ammonia. "Any lady who has once learned its value will never be without it." Just a capful or so in the bath works as well as soap and cleans the pores "as well as a bleach will do."

3. WASH YOUR EYES…

Nothing is as attractive as a sparkling eye. The best way to achieve this is by "dashing soapsuds into them." If that’s not your style, perfume dropped into the eyes is a reasonable alternative. For the same bright-eyed look without the burn, "half a dozen drops of whisky and the same quantity of Eau de Cologne, eaten on a lump of sugar, is quite as effective."

4. … BUT DON’T WASH YOUR HAIR.

Water is "injurious" to the hair. Instead, wipe "the dust of the previous day" away on a towel. You can also brush your hair during any long, idle breaks in the day. 30 minutes is a good hair-brushing session.

5. AND NEVER, EVER WASH YOUR FACE.

Simply rub the skin with "an ointment of glycerine" and "dry with a chamois-skin or cotton flannel." One "beautiful lady" is admired who had "not washed her face for three years, yet it is always clean, rosy, sweet and kissable."

6. AND TRY NOT TO WASH YOUR HANDS, EITHER.

A well kept hand is soft, pale, and really, really dirty. Red hands can be relieved "by soaking the feet in hot water as often as possible," but don’t dare touch water with your hands. As with the face, a regimen of ointment and cotton flannel should be used, and gloves worn for bathing. (Burroughs notes here that "dozens of women" with gorgeous hands "do not put them in water once a month.")

7. HANG OUT NAKED BY THE WINDOW EVERY DAY.

This is also called vapour-bathing, which is a different kind of vapour than the aforementioned ammonia soak, and one more likely to bring the attention of unwanted suitors. To take a proper vapour bath, "the lady denudes herself, takes a seat near the window, and takes in the warm rays of the sun." If you’re a lady of the restless sort, dancing is advised. A good vapour bath is at least an hour long.

8. GO HEAVY-METAL ON THE EYES.

Nothing says "handsome lady" like a lined lid. The proper solution is "two drachms of nitric oxid of mercury mixed with one of leaf lard." Lacking these components, a woman may just as easily produce a nice effect with "a hairpin steeped in lampblack."

9. SAY GOODBYE TO THAT FRINGE.

In your great-grandmother’s day, lashes had a tendency to become "unruly." They were therefore "slightly trimmed every other day" with sharp, tiny scissors, because who wants eyelashes, anyway.

10. SUCTION!

Nice lips are essential to a woman’s prettiness. As early as possible, a girl should begin thinking about the shape of her lips and how it might be improved. Thin lips "are easily modified by suction," which "draws the blood to the surfaces" and over time provides a "permanent inflation." Thick lips "may be reduced by compression." There are no instructions for this procedure.

11. AND TRY NOT TO BE SINGLE.

The author’s female acquaintance, after disclosing to her favourite suitor that she had gone those three long years without using soap, found herself back on the market. A note from the gentleman read, "I can not reconcile my heart and my manhood to a woman who can get along without washing her face."

So remember, ladies: Whatever methods are used, "it would be just as well to keep the knowledge of it from the gentlemen." Because being married is better than ammonia-water for the complexion.

---

If you feel like reading more of Burroughs’ views on beauty and other fascinating subjects you can read the whole book on Project Gutenberg. Here you’ll find hints on anything from penmanship to judging people’s character by studying their fingernails.

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The lure Of The Mad Men – Part 11

I must admit that it’s hardly the top guns among the mad men, neither among the image people nor the text people who have made the ad above. On the other hand they have zeroed down on two of the surest subjects when it comes to catching peoples interest. SEX and WW II. And combined these two are always a winner.

Who wouldn’t want to read Mussolini and Hitler’s love  letters to Claretta Petacci and Eva Braun. Although the teaser text from Benito’s letter there is disappointingly tame. I’ve seen his speeches on TV and they are definitely full of piss and vinegar so one should be able to expect more from his love letters. Anyhow, I bet the Police Gazette’s sales hit the roof for that next issue.

By the way, the way the two of them look at each other on the ad one would think the love letters they wrote were to each other, and who knows, maybe that was the sensation of the century – Ted

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Hercules Poirot Says

BBC has produced their final episode of “Hercules Poirot” based on Agatha Christie’s master detective. Luckily they have produced enough episodes to keep us in reruns for years on end – Ted

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The Lure Of The Mad Men – Part 3

text from the ad:
How soon is too soon?

Not soon enough. Laboratories tests over the last few years have proven that babies who start drinking soda during the early formative period have much higher chance of gaining acceptance and “fitting in” during those awkward pre-teen and teen years. So, do yourself a favour. Do your child a favour. Start them on a strict regimen of soda and other sugary carbonated beverages right now. For a lifetime of guaranteed happiness – Ad for The Soda Pop Board of America

Playing on mum’s insecurity and fright at the thought of their kids not going to fit in must have seemed an easy way to get the kids hooked on soda and sugar for a lifetime to any heartless mad man. But honestly, the crap about laboratory tests was pushing it a bit to far even back then – Ted

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The Lure Of The Mad Men – Intro

I guess many of you have followed “Mad Men” that TV series about an Advertising Agency back when neither commercial artists nor copy writers had any rules or regulations to hinder their blatant lies about the products they were pushing.

Since I have in parts of my working career been working at such places, old ads from that time fascinates me, so since I’ve just finished the “Popular Music History 1945 – 1980” series, I’m starting a new series featuring all the meaningless nonsense those guys managed to push.

The Mad Men had and still have a wide scale of human emotions to play upon both in images and text; Insecurity, low self-esteem, bad self-image, scare, addiction, vanity, hope, the will to belong, wishful thinking, loneliness, despair, superiority and lets be honest good old envy.

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Jayne Mansfield (1933 – 1967)

"A forty-one inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more. But most girls don’t know what to do with what they’ve got." – Jayne Mansfield

You can say what you like about Jayne Mansfield, but she sure knew how to get the best out of what she got – Ted

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Marlboro Cannabis–Facts Or Fiction

Phillip Morris, the world’s biggest cigarette producer, announced today that they will join the marijuana legalization bandwagon and start producing marijuana cigarettes. Marketed under the brand “Marlboro M”, the cigarettes will be made available for sale through marijuana-licensed outlets in the state of Colorado, and the state of Washington when it becomes commercially legal there later this year.

Read more HERE

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Annie Edson Taylor – The First Person To Survive A Trip Over Niagara Falls In A Barrel

Annie Edson Taylor (October 24, 1838 – April 29, 1921) was an American adventurer who, on her 63rd birthday, October 24, 1901, became the first person to survive a trip over Niagara Falls in a barrel.

Desiring to secure her later years financially, and avoid the poorhouse, she decided she would be the first person to ride over Niagara Falls in a barrel. Taylor used a custom-made barrel for her trip, constructed of oak and iron and padded with a mattress. Several delays occurred in the launching of the barrel, particularly because no one wanted to be part of a potential suicide. Two days before Taylor’s own attempt, a domestic cat was sent over the Horseshoe Falls in her barrel to test its strength. Contrary to rumours at the time, the cat survived the plunge and 17 minutes later, after she was found with a bleeding head, posed with Taylor in photographs.

On October 24, 1901, her 63rd birthday, the barrel was put over the side of a rowboat, and Taylor climbed in, along with her lucky heart-shaped pillow. After screwing down the lid, friends used a bicycle tire pump to compress the air in the barrel. The hole used for this was plugged with a cork, and Taylor was set adrift near the American shore, south of Goat Island.

The Niagara River currents carried the barrel toward the Canadian Horseshoe Falls, which has since been the site for all daredevil stunting at Niagara Falls. Rescuers reached her barrel shortly after the plunge. Taylor was discovered to be alive and relatively uninjured, except for a small gash on her head. The trip itself took less than twenty minutes, but it was some time before the barrel was actually opened. After the journey, Annie Taylor told the press:“   

If it was with my dying breath, I would caution anyone against attempting the feat… I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon, knowing it was going to blow me to pieces than make another trip over the Fall.    ”

Text: Wikipedia – Image: BoredPanda

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A Wise Woman

The older I get the surer I am that Anais Nin was right. There is always more mystery. What would be the sense in getting older if it wasn’t – Ted

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Zappa Wisdom

I did none of that. So all right, I’m not stinking rich, but I’ve had fun all my grown life – Ted

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Roses In The Rain

You can hide ‘neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a saviour to rise from these streets
Well now I’m no hero
That’s understood
All the redemption I can offer girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now ?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow
Back your hair

From “Thunder Road” by Bruce Springsteen

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Pooh, My Childhood’s Hero

I think it was when they bought the copyrights for Winnie The Pooh that I really started to hate the Disney Company – Ted

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Ursus Arctos Erectus (Look It Up ;-)

I may go out tomorrow if I can borrow a coat to wear Oh I’d step out in style with my sincere smile and my dancing bear Outrageous alarming courageous charming Oh who would think a boy and bear Could be well accepted everywhere It’s just amazing how fair people can be Seen at the nicest places where well fed faces all stop to stare Making the grandest entrance is Simon Smith and his dancing bear They’ll love us, won’t they? They feed us, don’t they? Oh, who would think a boy and bear Could be well accepted everywhere It’s just amazing how fair people can be Who needs money when you’re funny? The big attraction everywhere Will be Simon Smith and his dancing bear It’s Simon Smith and the amazing dancing bear Simon Smith And The Amazing Dancing Bear by Randy Newman

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The Difference Between A Dog And A Cat

By the way, I’m a dog person – Ted – Image found at “Alligator sunglasses”

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Anarchy In The Clouds

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