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Posts Tagged ‘Norwegians’

The Frog

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A  Swede walked into a bar with a large frog growing out of his forehead. The bartender could not keep his eyes from it and in the end he had to ask: “where did that come from?”. The frog looked him straight into the eyes and answered: “It started with a pimple on my buttock”.


This is the kind of jokes we Norwegians tell about Swedes and they about us. Any Swede reading this; Feel free to post your best Norwegian joke as a comment to this post – Ted

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11220_fan25Illustration © TidiousTed

Two out of three Norwegian told in a large survey on Norwegians’ sexual habits that they had more sex during their holiday than usual. Some even claimed that they had considerably more sex. Only 15 % on the other hand reduced their sexual activity when on holiday.

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81 %  of travelling Norwegian use a digital camera to document their holiday while 6 % make do with their mobil camera.
Only 2 % writes a travelling diary. Now wonder, trying to read what they had scrawled down under heavy influence of alcohol in countries where these beverages are a lot cheaper than at home would be almost impossible anyway.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Illustration © TidiousTed

E. Salvesen and John G. Dahll went on a trip to England in the late 1800s and got a chance to attend a football match for their first time.
Getting home they started Christiania Football Club on the 23rd of May 1885.
One year later the first football match on Norwegian soil took place as Christiania played a British naval team. Several thousand people turned up to see the new game.

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German tourists find the Norwegian road signs warning about moose particularly interesting, more than 500 of these road signs disappear each year and rumours has it that they end up as table tops in Germany. Road signs warning about reindeer are also popular among souvenir hunters along with signs showing speed limits like 30, 50 and 70 kmph. These usually end up as birthday presents.

Since I myself have received no less than 2 Norwegian and 2 Swedish road signs as birthday presents up through the years I guess German tourists are not the only ones with a taste for these particular items – Ted

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Chocolate was introduced in Norway in 1835, and it came to stay. People eat more chocolate in only in two other countries in the world. Each one of us eat about 8 kilo a year on an average.

I do more than my share here, just so you know – Ted

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Solo is undoubtfully the most popular Norwegian made soft drink. It was introduced in 1934.
Torleif Gulliksen, the creator of Solo had been travelling in Spain and had come across a refreshing orange soft drink there. He brought the recipe back to Norway and not long after that Solo had become Norway’s most popular bottled soft drink.
Coca Cola did not pass Solo in popularity until well into the 1960s.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Norwegians are a rather down to earth people and this can be seen in how we name our wars and battles. Other nations call these things like The battle of Trafalgar, Desert Storm, the battle of Thermopylae, The 100 year war, and so on.
Norway attacked Bohuslän in Sweden in 1788 and the war has later been known as the Cranberry war.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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You should not trust everything you hear on the radio. On the evening of the 8th of April 1940, Finn Moe said in a program about foreign politics on the national radio station that there were little chance that Norway would ever become involved in what is now known as WWII.
The Germans invaded Norway on the morning of the 9th.

Illustration © TidiousTed

 

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There are 234 museums and similar collections in Norway. These feature roughly 32 million items, which is about seven for each one of us. Slightly over half of these item are of cultural historical value.
If you are wondering what the other half might be, so do I – Ted

Illustration © TidiousTed

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46 % of all males over the age of 16 hunts in Lierne county in North Trøndelag.
Hunting for a wife though is harder there than anywhere else in the country as Lierne county is the place in Norway with the highest percentage of male citizens.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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When the x-mas shopping is at its most intense there are 200 credit card transactions a second in Norway. At a total we use our cards 4,5 million times on the shopping’s most busy day, usually the last ordinary shopping day before x-mas eve.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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People in the north of Norway are more interested in pornographic magazines than the average Norwegian. People in the area around Oslo would rather read the IKEA catalogue and people in the south of Norway are mostly interested in magazines about tractors.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Bárbmoáhkká is the name of a god that according to lap tradition see to it that migrating birds find their way home from warmer climates, Bárbmu.
If the same god take care of all the Norwegian old age pensioners that spend their winters on the Spanish south coast has not been verified.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Two out of three Norwegians have had sex in the open air while the  figures for the world as a whole are four out of ten. A large survey on Norwegians sexual habits showed that one out of  four men and one out of five women of all ages in Norway have sex in open air often or every now and then.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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Norwegians are the most eager newspaper readers in the world measured in how many newspapers each one of us read. This is stated year after year in surveys done by the World Association of Newspapers.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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An internet survey revealed that 8 % of Norwegian men have had tattoos done while under influence of alcohol that they later regretted when they sobered up.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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68 % of all male Norwegian girlie magazine readers prefer silicon free breasts. But when it comes to pubic hair all of 95 % prefer ladies that are well trimmed or clean shaven. In other words, they have no consequent relations to what’s natural.

Illustration © TidiousTed

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As the only person in history Fridtjof Nansen could issue passports as though he was a national state all on his own.

The man once said: “Never keep a line of retreat: it is a wretched invention.”

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Norwegians eat 10 million “Smørbukk” cream caramels a year. And most of us regard it as the only real cream caramel there is.

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Oh, and that’s a total, we don’t each one of us eat that much.

Illustration © TidiousTed

I actually think a lot of Norwegians out there could put the shoulder to the wheel a little when it comes to this. Were nearly 5 million by now and that makes it only a little over 2 a head.  I’ve eaten almost 30 just to day, so a lot of people out there are not doing their part, should it go off the marked because of you slackers I’ll get pissed, really pissed – Ted

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