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Posts Tagged ‘Ronnie Barker’

Well, this is Ronnie Barker doing one of his single sketches and anyone who are familiar with The Two Ronnies (Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett) knows how that can turn out.

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All posts material: “Sauce” and “Gentleman’s Relish” by Ronnie Barker – Hodder & Stoughton in 1977

EYE TEST CHART
Do You Need Glasses

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If you have trouble seeing the nice bottoms on the bottom line here
you better get yourself some glasses pretty quick.

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All posts material: “Sauce” and “Gentleman’s Relish” by Ronnie Barker – Hodder & Stoughton in 1977

Charles H. Bennett
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Ronnie Barkers Comment to the drawing: I have included these two pictures from “Character Sketches and Development Drawing” by Charles H. Bennett (c. 1850), simply because I find them so fascinating and so cleverly drawn. Not only does the faithful servant change, step by step, into a faithful watchdog, but the food he was taking to his master changes into his own plate of scraps.

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Ronnie Barkers Comment to the drawing: Even more ingenious, this somewhat macabre portrait of a mugger of the time, consulting the turnip.watch of a previous victim, as he waits for his present prey to emerge from some Music Hall or supper~rooms. His origin is quickly traced to a muzzled and dangerous dancing~bear, while the watch becomes his padlock, and his cudgel the very post which holds him captive. This kind of meticulous and detailed drawing is, to me, one of the fascinations of Victorian illustrated humour-satirical or otherwise.

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All posts material: “Sauce” and “Gentleman’s Relish” by Ronnie Barker – Hodder & Stoughton in 1977

Some Naughty Postcards

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All posts material: “Sauce” and “Gentleman’s Relish” by Ronnie Barker – Hodder & Stoughton in 1977

The Sporting Section

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Top Girl: There’s a man on the lawn, Janet. He’s lying in the sun, without a stitch on.

Bottom Girl: Oooh. Who is it?

Top Girl: It’s the young master, with the Daily Graphic over his face.

Bottom Girl: How do you know?

Top Girl: I recognise the sporting section.


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All posts materiale: “Sauce” and “Gentlemann’s Relish” by Ronnie Barker – Hodder & Stoughton in 1977

Is it too much?

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VERSE ONE
Is it too much? Is it too much?
My dress for the camival- is it too much?
It’s made out of rhinestones and lace that is Dutch,
And there is so little of it – is it too much?
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VERSE TWO
Is it too much? Is it too much? .
This mere wisp of nothingness – is it too much?
If the gentlemen look, will they soon want to touch?
And there’s so much available-. Is 18 too much?
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VERSE THREE
I
s it too much? Is it too much?
And the back looks extraordinary – is it too much?
Like two big white rabbits squashed up in a hutchWell,
I mean, no, but honestly – is it too much?
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VERSE FOUR
Is it too. much? Is it too much?
I’m beginning to feel it’s just slightly too much.
If I sit, and lean back, and my left knee I clutch
You can actually see my – Oh yes, it’s too much!

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All posts material: “Sauce” and “Gentleman’s Relish” by Ronnie BarkerHodder & Stoughton in 1977

I Can’t Stand By And Just Watch Others Suffer

(Words by George Sellars – Music by Archie Wright)

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VERSE 1
I
mingle a lot with society,
I’m well known by the gentry, you see.
I often go round to Quaglino’s,
and he sometimes comes round to me.
I sat next to a beautiful lady,
when I last went around there to sup.
She was wearing a frightfully low-cut gown,
you could see she was well brought up.
She began to converse rather freely,
her one pleasure, she said, was to cook.
She described what she did with her dumplings,
Till I didn’t know which way to look.
Just then, an itinerant waiter
dropped a large ice-cream right on her chest .
As it slid out of sight she cried "Help me!
It’s freezing! Oh, quick do your best!"

CHORUS
Well I can’t stand by and just watch others suffer.
No, I have to go and try to make amends.
So I held her down by force
and applied hot chocolate sauce
And ever since, we’ve both been bosom friends.

VERSE 2
One night at the club I’d been drinking,
and was staggering home, about three.
Well, l’d missed all the cabs, and decided
it was their turn to try missing me.
As I zig-zagged along the Embankment
(as I said, I’d had several halves).
On the bridge stood the butcher’s young daughter,
I could tell it was her by her calves.
She spoke, in a disjointed fashion,
“All the lights have gone out, of my life,
I know it’s not meet, but there’s so much at stake,
I shall chop out my heart with a knife."
I murmured, "That’s tripe, you’re a chump dear”
(it was the language she best understood) .
She replied, "If I had but the guts, sir,
I’d throw myself into the flood."

CHORUS
Well I can’t stand by and just watch others suffer.
And other peoples’ fear just makes me brave.
So like the dear kind soul I am,
I threw her underneath a tram,
And saved her from a very watery grave!

VERSE 3
As I wandered through a cornfield last September
A couple sat beneath the harvest moon
And I saw the lady cuddling the fellow
Persuading him to have a little spoon;
First he wouldn’t, then he would, and then he didn’t
Then he tried to, and he couldn’t, all the same
Then he wondered if he should or if he shouldn’t,
as he didn’t even know the lady’s name.
Now he finally decided that he oughtn’t.
And he’d always wish he hadn’t, once he had.
Then he asked her, "Is it really that important?"
And she said it was, which petrified the lad.
Well, she lay there, on one elbow, so romantic
and he stood there, undecided, on one leg,
In her eyes I saw a longing that was frantic
Like a cocker-spaniel, sitting up to beg.

CHORUS
Well I can’t stand by and just watch others suffer
It makes me suffer so myself, you see.
So I pushed, and he fell over.
They were married in October,
And they’ve called the baby Cyril after me!

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